Wednesday 1 January 2014 Mary, Mother of God - Solemnity

Numbers 6:22-27

The Lord spoke to Moses and said, ‘Say this to Aaron and his sons: 
“This is how you are to bless the sons of Israel. You shall say to them:
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord let his face shine on you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord uncover his face to you and bring you peace.”
This is how they are to call down my name on the sons of Israel, and I will bless them.’


The first line of the blessing still sounds warm and cheery.

You begin to feel the heat as the Lord's face shines on you; and as with any light source, when it focuses on you--glare and heat and all--you become self-conscious, and you start to sweat, and you feel like running back into the shadows.  The darkness appeals like a refuge from the scrutinising, glaring light. In the shadows, you could be a passive, anonymous observer; in the shadows, you could see the crowd as they react to you; in the shadows, you could blend in and safely be like everyone else.

But for the Lord to uncover his face to you is immense and frightening. Even the whole neighborhood knows that no one can see the face of God and live. You wouldn't want to meet someone face to face. Not when you've been hiding, not when you've been trying to avoid being noticed, not when you've been trying to be unaccountable for what you've been doing. 

What shall we make of this: it doesn't seem like a blessing at all, but a curse, a warning, a wagging finger.

Even the words, "be gracious to you" and "bring you peace", are lost on me. I tremble at the thought of that Face shining and uncovering itself to me. I am afraid because I know I have sinned knowingly, deceptively, blatantly, arrogantly, stubbornly. I'd rather have that face disappear completely than have it completely staring at me. 

How can that Face bless me when I feel cursed when it looks at me? How can that Face be gracious after all the things that I have done? How can that Face give me peace when it haunts me in my guilt, and even when I claim that I do not have to feel guilty at all? 

Damn that blessing. 
Run away if you can.
Stay away.

Oh, That Face. The Horror!
That Face. 
That Face!

Makes me face it, face to face.